Unfortunately, it's necessary to repeat in print what should be common sense:

 If you want medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice:  

please see a doctor, lawyer, financial planner, or other professional.

 If you want someone to run your life:  

 please see your mother.

 Your choice is your sole responsibility. 

And in case you reside in a state which requires the following:  Intended only for entertainment purposes.